Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager.
Upon completion of the test, both men had each missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant."
"And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.
"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the department manager.
"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicant inquired.
"Simple", said the department manager, "Your fellow applicant put down on question #5, "I don't know".
You put down, "Neither do I".
Plane Trouble
A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane.
The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and shudders quite violently in her seat.
The man isn't sure why she is shuddering and goes back to reading. A few minutes pass.
The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat.
The man is becoming more and more curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes pass.
The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders violently again. The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says, "Three times you've sneezed and three times you've taken a tissue and wiped your nose then shuddered violently!
Are you sending me signals, or are you going crazy?" The woman replies, "I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I have a rare condition and when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
The man, now feeling a little embarrassed but even more curious says, "I've never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"
The woman looks at him and says, "Pepper".
The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and shudders quite violently in her seat.
The man isn't sure why she is shuddering and goes back to reading. A few minutes pass.
The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat.
The man is becoming more and more curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes pass.
The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders violently again. The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says, "Three times you've sneezed and three times you've taken a tissue and wiped your nose then shuddered violently!
Are you sending me signals, or are you going crazy?" The woman replies, "I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I have a rare condition and when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
The man, now feeling a little embarrassed but even more curious says, "I've never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"
The woman looks at him and says, "Pepper".
Two Elderly Gents at the Brothel
Two elderly gents decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town. After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel.
The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, "Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference."
The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.
As they are walking home the first man says, "You know, I think my girl was dead!"
"Dead?" says his friend, "Why do you say that?"
"Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her."
His friend says, "Could be worse I think mine was a witch."
"A witch, why the hell would you say that?"
"Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window."
The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, "Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference."
The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.
As they are walking home the first man says, "You know, I think my girl was dead!"
"Dead?" says his friend, "Why do you say that?"
"Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her."
His friend says, "Could be worse I think mine was a witch."
"A witch, why the hell would you say that?"
"Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window."
Pumping Gas
Bill and Hillary are out driving in the country near Hillary's hometown. They are low on fuel so Bill pulls into a gas station for a fill-up.
The attendant comes out and begins to pump gas into the First couple's gas tank. As he is doing this, he looks into the passenger window. "Hey, Hillary. We used to date in high school, do you remember me?", he asks. They chat for a few minutes, Bill pays and the First couple leaves.
As they drive off, Bill is feeling very proud of himself and looks over at Hillary. "You used to date that guy? Just think what it would be like if you had married him instead of me", he says smugly. Hillary looks at Bill, shrugs and replies, "Well I guess you'd be pumping gas and he would be the President."
The attendant comes out and begins to pump gas into the First couple's gas tank. As he is doing this, he looks into the passenger window. "Hey, Hillary. We used to date in high school, do you remember me?", he asks. They chat for a few minutes, Bill pays and the First couple leaves.
As they drive off, Bill is feeling very proud of himself and looks over at Hillary. "You used to date that guy? Just think what it would be like if you had married him instead of me", he says smugly. Hillary looks at Bill, shrugs and replies, "Well I guess you'd be pumping gas and he would be the President."