Baseball heaven?

There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, just like they did every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"
Soloman thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno, Abe. But let's make a deal: If I die first, I will come back and tell you, and if you die first, you come back and tell me, if there is basebal l in heaven."
They shake on it and, sadly, a few months later poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol...."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes it is Sol," whispers the spirit of Abe.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well," says Abe says, "I got good news and I got bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"

The Future of Technology

I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter spoke up.
“You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.”



#joke

The Future of Technology

I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter spoke up.
“You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.”



#joke

The Future of Technology

I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter spoke up.
“You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.”



#joke

The Future of Technology

I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter spoke up.
“You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.”



#joke

The Future of Technology

I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter spoke up.
“You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.”



#joke

The Future of Technology

I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter spoke up.
“You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.”



#joke

The Future of Technology

I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter spoke up.
“You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.”



#joke

The Future of Technology

I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter spoke up.
“You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.”



#joke

The Future of Technology

I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter spoke up.
“You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.”



#joke

Worth A Try

Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks.
If you are diving and are approached by a shark, they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it in the nose as hard as possible.
If this doesn't work, beat the shark with your stump.



#joke

New Skunk Band

Did you hear about the skunks that started a boy band?
They are calling themselves "The Back Streak Boys"!



#joke

New Skunk Band

Did you hear about the skunks that started a boy band?
They are calling themselves "The Back Streak Boys"!



#joke

New Skunk Band

Did you hear about the skunks that started a boy band?
They are calling themselves "The Back Streak Boys"!



#joke

New Skunk Band

Did you hear about the skunks that started a boy band?
They are calling themselves "The Back Streak Boys"!



#joke

New Skunk Band

Did you hear about the skunks that started a boy band?
They are calling themselves "The Back Streak Boys"!



#joke

New Skunk Band

Did you hear about the skunks that started a boy band?
They are calling themselves "The Back Streak Boys"!



#joke

Elderly Honeymooners

Did you hear about the ninety-two-year old man who married a woman of eighty-four?
They spent their entire honeymoon getting out of the car.



#joke

Difference Between In-laws and Out-laws

What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are usually wanted.



#joke

Difference Between In-laws and Out-laws

What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are usually wanted.



#joke

Difference Between In-laws and Out-laws

What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are usually wanted.



#joke

Difference Between In-laws and Out-laws

What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are usually wanted.



#joke

Hand-Me-Downs

Joe: When I would wear my hand-me-downs to school, all the boys would make fun of me.
Moe: What did you do?
Joe: I hit them over the head with my purse.



#joke

The Angry Wife

One evening I was in a bar talking to my friend.
"Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house.."
"Did he get anything?" asked my friend.
"Yes," I said.
"A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home drunk!"



#joke


Read more on page

Memory

I had amnesia once...
... or maybe twice.



#joke

Memory

I had amnesia once...
... or maybe twice.



#joke

Near-sex Experience

I just had a near-sex experience…
My whole wife flashed before my eyes.



#joke

Near-sex Experience

I just had a near-sex experience…
My whole wife flashed before my eyes.



#joke