Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests . . . I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge alive!"
As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The millionaire was impressed.
He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?"
Beautiful Daughter
Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests . . . I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge alive!"
As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The millionaire was impressed.
He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?"
As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The millionaire was impressed.
He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?"
Beautiful Daughter
Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests . . . I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge alive!"
As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The millionaire was impressed.
He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?"
As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The millionaire was impressed.
He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?"
Beautiful Daughter
Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests . . . I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge alive!"
As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The millionaire was impressed.
He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?"
As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The millionaire was impressed.
He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?"
Sally's Report Card
Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A's and a couple of B's.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."
Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."
#joke
However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."
Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."
#joke
Patience off of the Green
The nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down outside the emergency room where another golfer, who had a golf ball driven down his throat, was being treated by a doctor.
"Is he a relative of yours?" the nurse, stepping outside the room, asked the pacing golfer.
"No," replied the man. "It's my ball."
#joke
"Is he a relative of yours?" the nurse, stepping outside the room, asked the pacing golfer.
"No," replied the man. "It's my ball."
#joke
Patience off of the Green
The nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down outside the emergency room where another golfer, who had a golf ball driven down his throat, was being treated by a doctor.
"Is he a relative of yours?" the nurse, stepping outside the room, asked the pacing golfer.
"No," replied the man. "It's my ball."
#joke
"Is he a relative of yours?" the nurse, stepping outside the room, asked the pacing golfer.
"No," replied the man. "It's my ball."
#joke
Bar Joke
A scotsman, an englishman and an irishman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this?
Bar Joke
A scotsman, an englishman and an irishman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this?
Bar Joke
A scotsman, an englishman and an irishman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this?
Bar Joke
A scotsman, an englishman and an irishman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this?
Bar Joke
A scotsman, an englishman and an irishman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this?
Bar Joke
A scotsman, an englishman and an irishman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this?
Holiday Wedlock
"I married an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day."
"Oh, really?"
"No, O'Reilly!"
#joke
"Oh, really?"
"No, O'Reilly!"
#joke
Ice Cream
What flavors of ice cream do you have?" inquired the customer.
"Vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate," answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper.
Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked, "Do you have laryngitis?"
"No...." replied the new waitress with some effort, "just...erm.... vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate."
#joke
"Vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate," answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper.
Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked, "Do you have laryngitis?"
"No...." replied the new waitress with some effort, "just...erm.... vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate."
#joke
Ice Cream
What flavors of ice cream do you have?" inquired the customer.
"Vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate," answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper.
Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked, "Do you have laryngitis?"
"No...." replied the new waitress with some effort, "just...erm.... vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate."
#joke
"Vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate," answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper.
Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked, "Do you have laryngitis?"
"No...." replied the new waitress with some effort, "just...erm.... vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate."
#joke
Typical HR
"I proposed to my girl friend last night, who just got promoted to a HR position earlier in the day."
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
Typical HR
"I proposed to my girl friend last night, who just got promoted to a HR position earlier in the day."
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
Typical HR
"I proposed to my girl friend last night, who just got promoted to a HR position earlier in the day."
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
Typical HR
"I proposed to my girl friend last night, who just got promoted to a HR position earlier in the day."
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
Typical HR
"I proposed to my girl friend last night, who just got promoted to a HR position earlier in the day."
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
Typical HR
"I proposed to my girl friend last night, who just got promoted to a HR position earlier in the day."
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
Typical HR
"I proposed to my girl friend last night, who just got promoted to a HR position earlier in the day."
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
Typical HR
"I proposed to my girl friend last night, who just got promoted to a HR position earlier in the day."
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
Typical HR
"I proposed to my girl friend last night, who just got promoted to a HR position earlier in the day."
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
#joke
Sergeant Abuse
A sergeant gives a private a hard time. He says, "Private, I bet you are just waiting for me to die so you can come and urinate on my grave!"
The private replied, "No sir, when I get out of the army I am not going to stand in more long, long lines!"
#joke
The private replied, "No sir, when I get out of the army I am not going to stand in more long, long lines!"
#joke
Iron Man And Iron Woman
What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
Iron Man is a superhero.
Iron Woman is a command.
#joke
Iron Man is a superhero.
Iron Woman is a command.
#joke
The Difference Between Outlaws and In-laws
Q: What's the difference between Outlaws and In-laws?
A: Outlaws are wanted.
#joke
A: Outlaws are wanted.
#joke
Statistics
The 50-50-90 rule:
If you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right...
There's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
#joke
If you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right...
There's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
#joke
Statistics
The 50-50-90 rule:
If you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right...
There's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
#joke
If you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right...
There's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
#joke