Man Joke

What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?

An insurance company.

Microsoft Joke

Why did Microsoft give the name "Windows" to its operating software?

If you had so many bugs, you would throw it out the window too!

Joke

Yo momma is so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon.

Lawyer Joke

How is an apple like a lawyer?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

Sex Joke

How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?

One of his fingers is clean.

Joke

"Mommy, Mommy! The teacher says I look like a monkey!"

"Shut up and comb your face!"

Congressman Joke

Yo momma is so fat, her ass has its own congressman.

Software Joke

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Man Joke

What does a man consider a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack of beer.

Number Joke

Why is the number 10 afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine, and 10 is next.

Windows Joke

Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"

Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."

Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"

Piccolo Joke

How do you get two piccolos to play in unison?

Shoot one.

Ludwig van Beethoven Joke

What's brown and sits on a piano bench?

Beethoven's First Movement.

Golf Joke

Two guys are playing golf. The women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up.

So one man says to his friend, "I'm gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through."

He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his friend asks what happened.

He replies, "One of those women is my wife, and the other is my mistress. Why don't you go talk to them?"

So the second man starts to walk over. He gets halfway there and turns around.

When he gets back, his friend asks, "Now what happened?"

To this he replies, "Small world."

Woman Joke

What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?

Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are fucked up.