Policeman Joke

What not to say to the nice policeman:

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector was unplugged.

Joke

What's invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts!

Shark Joke

Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

Yo momma Joke

Yo momma is so fat, she stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number.

Computer Joke

You have just received the Amish virus. Since we have no electricity or computers, you are on the honor system. Please forward this message to everyone in your address book and then delete all files on your hard drive.

Thank you.

Man Joke

Why are men like laxatives?

They can irritate the shit out of you.

Husband Joke

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

Jesus Joke

Why doesn't jesus play hockey?

Beacuse he's scared to get nailed to the boards.

Vibrator Joke

Why did God create man?

Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Joke

"Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street!"

"Shut up and step on the gas!"

Feminist Joke

How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1) None. Feminists can't change anything.
2) Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to berate any men who offer to help.

Catholic Joke

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They use candles.

Man Joke

What's the difference between government bonds and men?

Bonds mature.

Pink Floyd Joke

What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?

Their last big hit was The Wall.

Man Joke

What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?

The man.