Chuck Norris Joke
Why did President Harry S. Truman drop the first atomic bomb?
Because he thought it would be more humane than sending in Chuck Norris.
Because he thought it would be more humane than sending in Chuck Norris.
Joke
Teacher: "You copied from Fred's exam paper didn't you?"
Little Johnny: "How did you know?"
Teacher: "Fred's paper says 'I don't know' and you have added 'Me, neither'!"
Little Johnny: "How did you know?"
Teacher: "Fred's paper says 'I don't know' and you have added 'Me, neither'!"
Joke
What's the difference between a pussy cat and a pussy?
One hates water while the other loves to be wet.
One hates water while the other loves to be wet.
Lawyer Joke
A young lawyer who had taken over his father's practice rushed home totally elated.
"Dad, listen, you aren't going to believe this," he said to his father. "I've finally settled that old Whitmore suit."
"Settled it!" bellowed his father. "You bumbling idiot! We've been living off of that money for over five years now!"
"Dad, listen, you aren't going to believe this," he said to his father. "I've finally settled that old Whitmore suit."
"Settled it!" bellowed his father. "You bumbling idiot! We've been living off of that money for over five years now!"
Sex Joke
Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mom's room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning and touching herself saying, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!"
The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"
The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"
Viola Joke
Why is a viola solo like premature ejaculation?
Because even when you know it's coming, there's nothing you can do about it.
Because even when you know it's coming, there's nothing you can do about it.
Man Joke
What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
Man Joke
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.