Man Joke

How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?

We don't know. Never happens.

Blonde Joke

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?

Artificial intelligence.

Horse Joke

Yo momma is so fat, the horse on her polo shirt is real.

Joke

What's the best thing about a blow job?

Ten minutes silence.

Woman Joke

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of?

Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

Joke

Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed.

Women somewhat deteriorate during the night.

Death Joke

A life long supporter of the labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.

"But why?" asked his puzzled friend, "You're labour through and through … Why change now?"

The man leaned forward and explained: "Well, I'd rather it was one of them that died and not one of us."

Ugly, Joke

Yo momma is so ugly, when she got in the tub, the water jumped out.

Sex Joke

How can you tell if your wife is dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Chuck Norris Joke

The Titanic didn't hit an iceberg, it got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.

Joke

What's the difference between a pussy cat and a pussy?

One hates water while the other loves to be wet.

Man Joke

How are men like noodles?

They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Penis Joke

There is a little boy and a little girl in the woods. The little girl asked the boy, "What is a penis?" The boy replied, "I don't know." At that time he hears his mum calling him for lunch. He goes home and eats his lunch. Then he sees his dad on the couch. He goes up to his dad and ask him, "What is a penis?" The dad whips his out and says to the boy, "This is a penis, as a matter of fact this is the perfect penis."

The boy leaves to go find his friend and brings her to the woods. The girl again asks him what a penis is. He whips out his penis and says to her, "This is a penis, and if it was two inches smaller it would be the perfect penis!"

Joke

Where does a peacock go when it loses its tail?

Into a re-tail store!

Actor Joke

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

1) Five. One to climb the ladder, four to say "That should be me up there!"
2) None. The stunt double does it for them.