Mary was in Sunday School but she didn't get enough sleep so one day her Teacher thought she could get Mary's attention by asking her a question:
"Mary who is Jesus Christ's father?"
Mary didn't answer so her friend Jimmy poked her in the back with a pencil and Mary says:
"GOD!!!"
Mary falls back asleep and her teacher noticed and came back and asked her:
"Who is our Lord and Savior?"
Jimmy pokes her in the back again and Mary yells:
"Jesus Christ"
She falls back alseep and then the teacher comes back and asked:
"What did Eve say too Adam after the had their 23rd child?"
So yet again Jimmy pokes her in the back and Mary yells:
"IF YOU KEEP POKING ME IM GOING TOO BREAK IT IN HALF!!! "
The Church Organist
Miss Broadhurst, the church organist, was in her eighties. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist. "Miss Broadhurst", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter?"
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist. "Miss Broadhurst", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter?"