I asked the chef at the seafood restaurant why octopus was off the menu.
He said, "It takes 4 hours to cook."
"Really?" I asked.
The chef replied, "Yes, it keeps turning the gas off!"
I got arrested for doing 1000 sit-ups in my own house!
They charged me with domestic ab use People always ask why I tuck a pen in my shoe
I reply "in case I need to make footnotes!" My hands got all cut up and bloody handling a piece of cheese
I'll never buy sharp cheddar again Which superhero is not allowed near children?
The flash Which superhero can't you trust with your valuables?
The man of steal. I'm an electrician Most people are really shocked
when they learn I'm not that great at it
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