I saw a coupon for a discount on a vasectomy.
I clipped it.
Police Officer in Bed
What happens when a police officer gets into bed?
He becomes an undercover cop.
He becomes an undercover cop.
Merry Christmas! Jokes To Lighten Up Christmas Mood
Multi-colored lights are the Crocs of Christmas lights.
Frank Lowe @GayAtHomeDad What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense?
Wait, there's myrrh. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause. What song does Beyonce like to perform during the holidays?
All the Jingle Ladies. Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow time to waste. It's almost Christmas! Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for Christmas cookies! Merry Christmas! Lot more Christmas jokes in our
Frank Lowe @GayAtHomeDad What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense?
Wait, there's myrrh. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause. What song does Beyonce like to perform during the holidays?
All the Jingle Ladies. Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow time to waste. It's almost Christmas! Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for Christmas cookies! Merry Christmas! Lot more Christmas jokes in our
Merry Christmas! Jokes To Lighten Up Christmas Mood
Multi-colored lights are the Crocs of Christmas lights.
Frank Lowe @GayAtHomeDad What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense?
Wait, there's myrrh. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause. What song does Beyonce like to perform during the holidays?
All the Jingle Ladies. Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow time to waste. It's almost Christmas! Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for Christmas cookies! Merry Christmas! Lot more Christmas jokes in our
Frank Lowe @GayAtHomeDad What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense?
Wait, there's myrrh. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause. What song does Beyonce like to perform during the holidays?
All the Jingle Ladies. Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow time to waste. It's almost Christmas! Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for Christmas cookies! Merry Christmas! Lot more Christmas jokes in our
Winter is here! Collection of 76 Winter Jokes
1. Why did the snowman hold up his arms?
He was told to freeze. 2. What did the black ice ask the car?
Wanna go for a spin? 3. How do you know when a snowman is scared?
He's sitting in yellow snow. 4. What did the mitten say to the hand?
I've got you covered. 5. Why did the reindeer have a limp?
He took a snowfall. 6. What's the difference between ice and icicle?
Ice has noel. 7. Why is a sled always discouraged?
It's continuously on a downward slide. 8. What do you call a cold thief?
A brrrr-glar. 9. Why was there a puddle in front of the fireplace?
A snowman was trying to warm himself. 10. What is the purpose of bundling up?
Anti-freeze. 11. How does Jack Frost keep warm?
With a thick blanket of snow. Christmas is almost here, check out Christmas jokes in our
He was told to freeze. 2. What did the black ice ask the car?
Wanna go for a spin? 3. How do you know when a snowman is scared?
He's sitting in yellow snow. 4. What did the mitten say to the hand?
I've got you covered. 5. Why did the reindeer have a limp?
He took a snowfall. 6. What's the difference between ice and icicle?
Ice has noel. 7. Why is a sled always discouraged?
It's continuously on a downward slide. 8. What do you call a cold thief?
A brrrr-glar. 9. Why was there a puddle in front of the fireplace?
A snowman was trying to warm himself. 10. What is the purpose of bundling up?
Anti-freeze. 11. How does Jack Frost keep warm?
With a thick blanket of snow. Christmas is almost here, check out Christmas jokes in our
Winter is here! Collection of 76 Winter Jokes
1. Why did the snowman hold up his arms?
He was told to freeze. 2. What did the black ice ask the car?
Wanna go for a spin? 3. How do you know when a snowman is scared?
He's sitting in yellow snow. 4. What did the mitten say to the hand?
I've got you covered. 5. Why did the reindeer have a limp?
He took a snowfall. 6. What's the difference between ice and icicle?
Ice has noel. 7. Why is a sled always discouraged?
It's continuously on a downward slide. 8. What do you call a cold thief?
A brrrr-glar. 9. Why was there a puddle in front of the fireplace?
A snowman was trying to warm himself. 10. What is the purpose of bundling up?
Anti-freeze. 11. How does Jack Frost keep warm?
With a thick blanket of snow. Christmas is almost here, check out Christmas jokes in our
He was told to freeze. 2. What did the black ice ask the car?
Wanna go for a spin? 3. How do you know when a snowman is scared?
He's sitting in yellow snow. 4. What did the mitten say to the hand?
I've got you covered. 5. Why did the reindeer have a limp?
He took a snowfall. 6. What's the difference between ice and icicle?
Ice has noel. 7. Why is a sled always discouraged?
It's continuously on a downward slide. 8. What do you call a cold thief?
A brrrr-glar. 9. Why was there a puddle in front of the fireplace?
A snowman was trying to warm himself. 10. What is the purpose of bundling up?
Anti-freeze. 11. How does Jack Frost keep warm?
With a thick blanket of snow. Christmas is almost here, check out Christmas jokes in our
107 Funny Christmas Jokes and Puns 2023
Christmas jokes and puns from 2023, although some older jokes might slip through If these 107 Christmas jokes is not enough for you, please find lot more of Christmas jokes in our
107 Funny Christmas Jokes and Puns 2023
Christmas jokes and puns from 2023, although some older jokes might slip through If these 107 Christmas jokes is not enough for you, please find lot more of Christmas jokes in our
107 Funny Christmas Jokes and Puns 2023
Christmas jokes and puns from 2023, although some older jokes might slip through If these 107 Christmas jokes is not enough for you, please find lot more of Christmas jokes in our
You Can't Cut Down A Talking Tree
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
You Can't Cut Down A Talking Tree
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
You Can't Cut Down A Talking Tree
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
You Can't Cut Down A Talking Tree
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
You Can't Cut Down A Talking Tree
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
You Can't Cut Down A Talking Tree
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
Monster Under My Bed
Son: "Dad! Dad! There is a monster under my bed!"
Dad: "Enjoy it while you can son, when you get married the monster sleeps in your bed."
Dad: "Enjoy it while you can son, when you get married the monster sleeps in your bed."
Caught Stealing Groceries
I saw a man stealing groceries the other day while on the shoulders of a couple of vampires.
He got charged with shoplifting on two counts.
He got charged with shoplifting on two counts.
37 Christmas jokes
Why is the Grinch such a good gardener?
He has a green thumb.
What type of key do you need to put on a Nativity play?
A don-key.
Who is the only one to not eat at Christmas dinner?
The turkey, it's always stuffed!
Why was the advent calendar afraid?
Its days were numbered!
What's the best present to receive?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it.
What's a dog's favorite
He has a green thumb.
What type of key do you need to put on a Nativity play?
A don-key.
Who is the only one to not eat at Christmas dinner?
The turkey, it's always stuffed!
Why was the advent calendar afraid?
Its days were numbered!
What's the best present to receive?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it.
What's a dog's favorite
37 Christmas jokes
Why is the Grinch such a good gardener?
He has a green thumb.
What type of key do you need to put on a Nativity play?
A don-key.
Who is the only one to not eat at Christmas dinner?
The turkey, it's always stuffed!
Why was the advent calendar afraid?
Its days were numbered!
What's the best present to receive?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it.
What's a dog's favorite
He has a green thumb.
What type of key do you need to put on a Nativity play?
A don-key.
Who is the only one to not eat at Christmas dinner?
The turkey, it's always stuffed!
Why was the advent calendar afraid?
Its days were numbered!
What's the best present to receive?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it.
What's a dog's favorite
37 Christmas jokes
Why is the Grinch such a good gardener?
He has a green thumb.
What type of key do you need to put on a Nativity play?
A don-key.
Who is the only one to not eat at Christmas dinner?
The turkey, it's always stuffed!
Why was the advent calendar afraid?
Its days were numbered!
What's the best present to receive?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it.
What's a dog's favorite
He has a green thumb.
What type of key do you need to put on a Nativity play?
A don-key.
Who is the only one to not eat at Christmas dinner?
The turkey, it's always stuffed!
Why was the advent calendar afraid?
Its days were numbered!
What's the best present to receive?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it.
What's a dog's favorite
The most popular Christmas cracker jokes for 2023 - voted
Gold asked British people to post their favorite jokes online. A group of judges picked the best ones, and then 2,000 people voted anonymously. The joke that got the most votes made fun of a recent event where thousands of priceless artefacts were stolen from the famous British Museum in London. 1.Did you hear about the Christmas cake on display in the British Museum?
It was Stollen 2.Why is Elon Musk's Christmas dinner so awkward?
He can't stop talking about his X 3.Why isn't Barbie having turkey for Christmas dinner this year?
Chic-Ken is enough 4.Why aren't any schools allowed to put on a nativity this year?
They couldn't find a stable building Check out more Jokes on
It was Stollen 2.Why is Elon Musk's Christmas dinner so awkward?
He can't stop talking about his X 3.Why isn't Barbie having turkey for Christmas dinner this year?
Chic-Ken is enough 4.Why aren't any schools allowed to put on a nativity this year?
They couldn't find a stable building Check out more Jokes on
Midweek Mirth: A Collection of Short Jokes to Propel You to Friday
Did you hear about the terrible sinking of the cargo ship which was carrying shoes? Thousands of soles were lost to the sea that day.
I've found something my wife's bum doesn't look big in... The distance!
My wife says the salad I make tends to be a bit on the "dry" side. It's definitely something that needs addressing.
I went on a date with a girl who said she loved animals.
I said, "I work with animals every day."
She said, "That's so sweet. What do you do?"
I replied, "I'm a butcher!" Scientists got bored after watching the Earth turn after 24 hours…
So they called it a day! What's the difference between a camera and a sock?
A camera takes photos, and a sock takes five toes. Whats the best gift to give someone? A broken Drum. Nobody can beat it.
I've found something my wife's bum doesn't look big in... The distance!
My wife says the salad I make tends to be a bit on the "dry" side. It's definitely something that needs addressing.
I went on a date with a girl who said she loved animals.
I said, "I work with animals every day."
She said, "That's so sweet. What do you do?"
I replied, "I'm a butcher!" Scientists got bored after watching the Earth turn after 24 hours…
So they called it a day! What's the difference between a camera and a sock?
A camera takes photos, and a sock takes five toes. Whats the best gift to give someone? A broken Drum. Nobody can beat it.
Driving Me Out of my Mind
Mindy: "I finally fixed that annoying noise in my car."
Missy: "Really? How did you do it?'
Mindy: "I opened the door and pushed him out."
Missy: "Really? How did you do it?'
Mindy: "I opened the door and pushed him out."
Driving Me Out of my Mind
Mindy: "I finally fixed that annoying noise in my car."
Missy: "Really? How did you do it?'
Mindy: "I opened the door and pushed him out."
Missy: "Really? How did you do it?'
Mindy: "I opened the door and pushed him out."
Driving Me Out of my Mind
Mindy: "I finally fixed that annoying noise in my car."
Missy: "Really? How did you do it?'
Mindy: "I opened the door and pushed him out."
Missy: "Really? How did you do it?'
Mindy: "I opened the door and pushed him out."
Driving Me Out of my Mind
Mindy: "I finally fixed that annoying noise in my car."
Missy: "Really? How did you do it?'
Mindy: "I opened the door and pushed him out."
Missy: "Really? How did you do it?'
Mindy: "I opened the door and pushed him out."
Countdown to Friday: 7 Fresh Jokes to Lighten Your Week
A woman walks into her bathroom to see her husband sucking in his stomach.
"You know that won't help you lose weight," she says.
"I know that," says the husband.
"But it will help me see the numbers." A pianist goes into a bar that he wasn't there for 3 years
The pianist goes to the piano and starts to play: do re mi fa sol la do re mi fa sol la do re mi fa sol la...
just like that for an hour,
after he finishes, the bartender asks him:
what the heck did you play us now?
The pianist said:
"long time no si" What begins with E and ends in E but only has one letter?
Envelope. My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.noziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf In my job interview I was asked what some of my good qualities were...
Well my doctor always calls me patient. What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake. Waitress: How did you find your steak Sir?
I just looked next to the potatoes and there it was.
"You know that won't help you lose weight," she says.
"I know that," says the husband.
"But it will help me see the numbers." A pianist goes into a bar that he wasn't there for 3 years
The pianist goes to the piano and starts to play: do re mi fa sol la do re mi fa sol la do re mi fa sol la...
just like that for an hour,
after he finishes, the bartender asks him:
what the heck did you play us now?
The pianist said:
"long time no si" What begins with E and ends in E but only has one letter?
Envelope. My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.noziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf In my job interview I was asked what some of my good qualities were...
Well my doctor always calls me patient. What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake. Waitress: How did you find your steak Sir?
I just looked next to the potatoes and there it was.