Did you know that the Icelandic alphabet does not contain the letter Z…
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
Friday Funnies: 11 Jokes to Start Your Weekend Right
Did you know that the Icelandic alphabet does not contain the letter Z…
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
Friday Funnies: 11 Jokes to Start Your Weekend Right
Did you know that the Icelandic alphabet does not contain the letter Z…
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
Friday Funnies: 11 Jokes to Start Your Weekend Right
Did you know that the Icelandic alphabet does not contain the letter Z…
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
Friday Funnies: 11 Jokes to Start Your Weekend Right
Did you know that the Icelandic alphabet does not contain the letter Z…
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
Friday Funnies: 11 Jokes to Start Your Weekend Right
Did you know that the Icelandic alphabet does not contain the letter Z…
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
Friday Funnies: 11 Jokes to Start Your Weekend Right
Did you know that the Icelandic alphabet does not contain the letter Z…
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
Friday Funnies: 11 Jokes to Start Your Weekend Right
Did you know that the Icelandic alphabet does not contain the letter Z…
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
Friday Funnies: 11 Jokes to Start Your Weekend Right
Did you know that the Icelandic alphabet does not contain the letter Z…
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
How do they sleep at night? I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg! I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“ Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned! A spider asked a human, "Why are you afraid of me?"
Human: "Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk." Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today! If I had to rate our solar system
I'd give it one star There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull! Me: "Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?"
Dad: "I don't know. Let me look through my gyroscope." I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They're an animal you can really look up to. The boss looks over the gentleman's resume and says "Wow, I'm impressed.
It seems like you've got everything needed for the job.
But there's a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?"
The gentleman responds
"Oh, that's when I went to Yale."
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. "Hey honey, I got the yob!"
7 Short Jokes for Your Weekend Chuckle Fest
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains. A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You can't do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
7 Short Jokes for Your Weekend Chuckle Fest
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains. A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You can't do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
7 Short Jokes for Your Weekend Chuckle Fest
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains. A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You can't do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
7 Short Jokes for Your Weekend Chuckle Fest
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains. A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You can't do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
7 Short Jokes for Your Weekend Chuckle Fest
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains. A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You can't do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
7 Short Jokes for Your Weekend Chuckle Fest
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains. A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You can't do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
7 Short Jokes for Your Weekend Chuckle Fest
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains. A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You can't do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
7 Short Jokes for Your Weekend Chuckle Fest
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains. A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You can't do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
7 Short Jokes for Your Weekend Chuckle Fest
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains. A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You can't do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
7 Short Jokes for Your Weekend Chuckle Fest
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains. A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You can't do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
7 Short Jokes for Your Weekend Chuckle Fest
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains. A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You can't do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
7 Short Jokes for Your Weekend Chuckle Fest
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains. A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You can't do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
7 Short Jokes for Your Weekend Chuckle Fest
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains. A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You can't do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" What has 2 buts and kills people?
An assassin Why did the vegan cross the road?
Ti tell someone they're a vegan! I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."
I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return! I made a pencil with an eraser on each end.
It was pointless. I was out drinking with my mates at a party last night, when I suddenly looked at my phone and noticed 18 missed calls from my wife.
Is she insecure or what?
That's an average of 6 calls a day! What do you call it when you get a rash from nickel?
MetallurgyImage credit
28 Morbidly Amusing Dark Humor Jokes to Tickle Your Macabre Side
If you find these jokes funny, something is probably wrong with you! I was digging in the garden and happened to find a chest with a lot of gold coins.
I wanted to run home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in the garden. What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children. The doctor gave me one month to live, so I shot him with my gun.
The judge gave me 15 years. What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, anyway he won't come. Cremation is my final hope for a smoking-hot body. What's the last thing in a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 100 mph?
It's behind. What's worse than biting an apple and then discovering a worm?
Biting the apple, then discovering half a worm. When ordering dinner at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepared their chicken.
He explained.
"We just tell them they're going to die." An apple a day keeps the doctor away only if you throw it hard enough. Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where their home is. Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous.
It's nice to see new faces here today! Why can't you have a book on how to commit suicide in a library?
Because you wouldn't return it back. What makes sad people jump?
Bridges. I don't have any carbon footprint.
I drive everywhere. I wished to die, but then I got a job.
Now I want to pass out. What do you call a bacterial disease that is caused by two grizzlies?
Twobearculosis. My doctor told me to stop eating red meat,
so now I dye it orange. Why are overweight babysitters an awful idea?
The babies always get crushed when they sit on them. How do you stop a baby from choking?
Let go of his neck. When I see the lovers' names written on a tree, I don't find it romantic or cute.
I find it weird how people would take knives on their dates. I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof. A dark joke is like food,
which many people don't get. If you think I am joking about Alzheimer's,
forget it. Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere. It's important to have a perfect vocabulary.
If I had known to distinguish between anecdote and antidote, one of my good friends would still be alive. You're not useless.
You can always be used as a bad example. I have jokes about unemployed people,
but sadly, none work. What did the frog say at his puppeteer's funeral?
Not a word.
I wanted to run home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in the garden. What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children. The doctor gave me one month to live, so I shot him with my gun.
The judge gave me 15 years. What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, anyway he won't come. Cremation is my final hope for a smoking-hot body. What's the last thing in a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 100 mph?
It's behind. What's worse than biting an apple and then discovering a worm?
Biting the apple, then discovering half a worm. When ordering dinner at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepared their chicken.
He explained.
"We just tell them they're going to die." An apple a day keeps the doctor away only if you throw it hard enough. Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where their home is. Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous.
It's nice to see new faces here today! Why can't you have a book on how to commit suicide in a library?
Because you wouldn't return it back. What makes sad people jump?
Bridges. I don't have any carbon footprint.
I drive everywhere. I wished to die, but then I got a job.
Now I want to pass out. What do you call a bacterial disease that is caused by two grizzlies?
Twobearculosis. My doctor told me to stop eating red meat,
so now I dye it orange. Why are overweight babysitters an awful idea?
The babies always get crushed when they sit on them. How do you stop a baby from choking?
Let go of his neck. When I see the lovers' names written on a tree, I don't find it romantic or cute.
I find it weird how people would take knives on their dates. I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof. A dark joke is like food,
which many people don't get. If you think I am joking about Alzheimer's,
forget it. Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere. It's important to have a perfect vocabulary.
If I had known to distinguish between anecdote and antidote, one of my good friends would still be alive. You're not useless.
You can always be used as a bad example. I have jokes about unemployed people,
but sadly, none work. What did the frog say at his puppeteer's funeral?
Not a word.
28 Morbidly Amusing Dark Humor Jokes to Tickle Your Macabre Side
If you find these jokes funny, something is probably wrong with you! I was digging in the garden and happened to find a chest with a lot of gold coins.
I wanted to run home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in the garden. What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children. The doctor gave me one month to live, so I shot him with my gun.
The judge gave me 15 years. What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, anyway he won't come. Cremation is my final hope for a smoking-hot body. What's the last thing in a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 100 mph?
It's behind. What's worse than biting an apple and then discovering a worm?
Biting the apple, then discovering half a worm. When ordering dinner at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepared their chicken.
He explained.
"We just tell them they're going to die." An apple a day keeps the doctor away only if you throw it hard enough. Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where their home is. Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous.
It's nice to see new faces here today! Why can't you have a book on how to commit suicide in a library?
Because you wouldn't return it back. What makes sad people jump?
Bridges. I don't have any carbon footprint.
I drive everywhere. I wished to die, but then I got a job.
Now I want to pass out. What do you call a bacterial disease that is caused by two grizzlies?
Twobearculosis. My doctor told me to stop eating red meat,
so now I dye it orange. Why are overweight babysitters an awful idea?
The babies always get crushed when they sit on them. How do you stop a baby from choking?
Let go of his neck. When I see the lovers' names written on a tree, I don't find it romantic or cute.
I find it weird how people would take knives on their dates. I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof. A dark joke is like food,
which many people don't get. If you think I am joking about Alzheimer's,
forget it. Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere. It's important to have a perfect vocabulary.
If I had known to distinguish between anecdote and antidote, one of my good friends would still be alive. You're not useless.
You can always be used as a bad example. I have jokes about unemployed people,
but sadly, none work. What did the frog say at his puppeteer's funeral?
Not a word.
I wanted to run home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in the garden. What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children. The doctor gave me one month to live, so I shot him with my gun.
The judge gave me 15 years. What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, anyway he won't come. Cremation is my final hope for a smoking-hot body. What's the last thing in a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 100 mph?
It's behind. What's worse than biting an apple and then discovering a worm?
Biting the apple, then discovering half a worm. When ordering dinner at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepared their chicken.
He explained.
"We just tell them they're going to die." An apple a day keeps the doctor away only if you throw it hard enough. Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where their home is. Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous.
It's nice to see new faces here today! Why can't you have a book on how to commit suicide in a library?
Because you wouldn't return it back. What makes sad people jump?
Bridges. I don't have any carbon footprint.
I drive everywhere. I wished to die, but then I got a job.
Now I want to pass out. What do you call a bacterial disease that is caused by two grizzlies?
Twobearculosis. My doctor told me to stop eating red meat,
so now I dye it orange. Why are overweight babysitters an awful idea?
The babies always get crushed when they sit on them. How do you stop a baby from choking?
Let go of his neck. When I see the lovers' names written on a tree, I don't find it romantic or cute.
I find it weird how people would take knives on their dates. I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof. A dark joke is like food,
which many people don't get. If you think I am joking about Alzheimer's,
forget it. Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere. It's important to have a perfect vocabulary.
If I had known to distinguish between anecdote and antidote, one of my good friends would still be alive. You're not useless.
You can always be used as a bad example. I have jokes about unemployed people,
but sadly, none work. What did the frog say at his puppeteer's funeral?
Not a word.
28 Morbidly Amusing Dark Humor Jokes to Tickle Your Macabre Side
If you find these jokes funny, something is probably wrong with you! I was digging in the garden and happened to find a chest with a lot of gold coins.
I wanted to run home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in the garden. What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children. The doctor gave me one month to live, so I shot him with my gun.
The judge gave me 15 years. What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, anyway he won't come. Cremation is my final hope for a smoking-hot body. What's the last thing in a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 100 mph?
It's behind. What's worse than biting an apple and then discovering a worm?
Biting the apple, then discovering half a worm. When ordering dinner at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepared their chicken.
He explained.
"We just tell them they're going to die." An apple a day keeps the doctor away only if you throw it hard enough. Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where their home is. Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous.
It's nice to see new faces here today! Why can't you have a book on how to commit suicide in a library?
Because you wouldn't return it back. What makes sad people jump?
Bridges. I don't have any carbon footprint.
I drive everywhere. I wished to die, but then I got a job.
Now I want to pass out. What do you call a bacterial disease that is caused by two grizzlies?
Twobearculosis. My doctor told me to stop eating red meat,
so now I dye it orange. Why are overweight babysitters an awful idea?
The babies always get crushed when they sit on them. How do you stop a baby from choking?
Let go of his neck. When I see the lovers' names written on a tree, I don't find it romantic or cute.
I find it weird how people would take knives on their dates. I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof. A dark joke is like food,
which many people don't get. If you think I am joking about Alzheimer's,
forget it. Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere. It's important to have a perfect vocabulary.
If I had known to distinguish between anecdote and antidote, one of my good friends would still be alive. You're not useless.
You can always be used as a bad example. I have jokes about unemployed people,
but sadly, none work. What did the frog say at his puppeteer's funeral?
Not a word.
I wanted to run home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in the garden. What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children. The doctor gave me one month to live, so I shot him with my gun.
The judge gave me 15 years. What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, anyway he won't come. Cremation is my final hope for a smoking-hot body. What's the last thing in a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 100 mph?
It's behind. What's worse than biting an apple and then discovering a worm?
Biting the apple, then discovering half a worm. When ordering dinner at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepared their chicken.
He explained.
"We just tell them they're going to die." An apple a day keeps the doctor away only if you throw it hard enough. Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where their home is. Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous.
It's nice to see new faces here today! Why can't you have a book on how to commit suicide in a library?
Because you wouldn't return it back. What makes sad people jump?
Bridges. I don't have any carbon footprint.
I drive everywhere. I wished to die, but then I got a job.
Now I want to pass out. What do you call a bacterial disease that is caused by two grizzlies?
Twobearculosis. My doctor told me to stop eating red meat,
so now I dye it orange. Why are overweight babysitters an awful idea?
The babies always get crushed when they sit on them. How do you stop a baby from choking?
Let go of his neck. When I see the lovers' names written on a tree, I don't find it romantic or cute.
I find it weird how people would take knives on their dates. I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof. A dark joke is like food,
which many people don't get. If you think I am joking about Alzheimer's,
forget it. Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere. It's important to have a perfect vocabulary.
If I had known to distinguish between anecdote and antidote, one of my good friends would still be alive. You're not useless.
You can always be used as a bad example. I have jokes about unemployed people,
but sadly, none work. What did the frog say at his puppeteer's funeral?
Not a word.
Love Me After Marriage
A married couple were quarreling.
Wife: You said you would love me more after marriage?
Husband: I did, but I didn't think you would say yes.
Wife: You said you would love me more after marriage?
Husband: I did, but I didn't think you would say yes.
Six Quick Jokes to Kickstart Your Week with a Smile
Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?
I already have like 50 wooden balls already. I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym yesterday.
That's 8 years in a row now. Wife: "I just got stung by a jellyfish. quick, pee on it!"
Husband: [peeing on jellyfish] "This is for stinging my wife." I hate it when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.
It's not like I did anything! I have a contact lens problem.
I have no contact lens solution. My wife rang me at the pub and said, “If you're not home in 10 minutes, I'm giving the dinner I cooked you to the dog.â€
I was home in 5 minutes.
I'd hate for anything to happen to the dog.
I already have like 50 wooden balls already. I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym yesterday.
That's 8 years in a row now. Wife: "I just got stung by a jellyfish. quick, pee on it!"
Husband: [peeing on jellyfish] "This is for stinging my wife." I hate it when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.
It's not like I did anything! I have a contact lens problem.
I have no contact lens solution. My wife rang me at the pub and said, “If you're not home in 10 minutes, I'm giving the dinner I cooked you to the dog.â€
I was home in 5 minutes.
I'd hate for anything to happen to the dog.
24 Leap Day Jokes - Make Every February 29th memorable
Trying to figure out why 2024 will be longer than 2023…
But so far, nothing leaps to mind. What's a great thing about leap-year jokes?
That you only hear them repeated every 4 years. If a leap year has 366 days, what do you call a year with 365 days?
A light year. Why did the man get arrested on Leap Day?
Because he was doing 29 in a 28 zone. What do you call a frog born on February 29?
A leap frog What do Lawyers do on leap day?
They jump to conclusions How do you know it's almost Leap Day?
When it is only a hop, skip and a jump away. What do athletes wear during a Leap Year?
Jumpsuits. What do kids play during a Leap Year?
Hop-scotch. What do you call a surgery during a Leap Year?
A hop-eration. Birthdays are good for your health.
Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.
RIP people born on the 29th of February. October 31st should be a leap year.
One day you're having a good time with Halloween. Then it's 3 years of being ghosted. Today is a leap day.
Guess you should jump with joy. Yo mama so old, she even lived through the first leap year. Are you gonna buy into an annual subscription of any kind?
Do it on February 29, you might get it free for the next four years based on poor code! Happy 2025 to all.
Remember we must skip 2024 â€" it's a leap year. What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?
Hip Hop How did the leap year party go?
It was jumping all night long! Why did the calendar feel unbalanced during leap years?
Because it had an extra day to juggle! Why don't lions like Leap Day?
Because they are always jumping through hoops. What does a captain do on Leap Day?
Jump ship. I'm going to get married on February 29th, so I only have to remember our anniversary once every 4 years. Why was February so popular with the other months?
Because it brought an extra day of fun to the party! Why don't we ever plan important events on February 29th?
Because it's too risky to take a leap of faith!
But so far, nothing leaps to mind. What's a great thing about leap-year jokes?
That you only hear them repeated every 4 years. If a leap year has 366 days, what do you call a year with 365 days?
A light year. Why did the man get arrested on Leap Day?
Because he was doing 29 in a 28 zone. What do you call a frog born on February 29?
A leap frog What do Lawyers do on leap day?
They jump to conclusions How do you know it's almost Leap Day?
When it is only a hop, skip and a jump away. What do athletes wear during a Leap Year?
Jumpsuits. What do kids play during a Leap Year?
Hop-scotch. What do you call a surgery during a Leap Year?
A hop-eration. Birthdays are good for your health.
Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.
RIP people born on the 29th of February. October 31st should be a leap year.
One day you're having a good time with Halloween. Then it's 3 years of being ghosted. Today is a leap day.
Guess you should jump with joy. Yo mama so old, she even lived through the first leap year. Are you gonna buy into an annual subscription of any kind?
Do it on February 29, you might get it free for the next four years based on poor code! Happy 2025 to all.
Remember we must skip 2024 â€" it's a leap year. What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?
Hip Hop How did the leap year party go?
It was jumping all night long! Why did the calendar feel unbalanced during leap years?
Because it had an extra day to juggle! Why don't lions like Leap Day?
Because they are always jumping through hoops. What does a captain do on Leap Day?
Jump ship. I'm going to get married on February 29th, so I only have to remember our anniversary once every 4 years. Why was February so popular with the other months?
Because it brought an extra day of fun to the party! Why don't we ever plan important events on February 29th?
Because it's too risky to take a leap of faith!
24 Leap Day Jokes - Make Every February 29th memorable
Trying to figure out why 2024 will be longer than 2023…
But so far, nothing leaps to mind. What's a great thing about leap-year jokes?
That you only hear them repeated every 4 years. If a leap year has 366 days, what do you call a year with 365 days?
A light year. Why did the man get arrested on Leap Day?
Because he was doing 29 in a 28 zone. What do you call a frog born on February 29?
A leap frog What do Lawyers do on leap day?
They jump to conclusions How do you know it's almost Leap Day?
When it is only a hop, skip and a jump away. What do athletes wear during a Leap Year?
Jumpsuits. What do kids play during a Leap Year?
Hop-scotch. What do you call a surgery during a Leap Year?
A hop-eration. Birthdays are good for your health.
Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.
RIP people born on the 29th of February. October 31st should be a leap year.
One day you're having a good time with Halloween. Then it's 3 years of being ghosted. Today is a leap day.
Guess you should jump with joy. Yo mama so old, she even lived through the first leap year. Are you gonna buy into an annual subscription of any kind?
Do it on February 29, you might get it free for the next four years based on poor code! Happy 2025 to all.
Remember we must skip 2024 â€" it's a leap year. What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?
Hip Hop How did the leap year party go?
It was jumping all night long! Why did the calendar feel unbalanced during leap years?
Because it had an extra day to juggle! Why don't lions like Leap Day?
Because they are always jumping through hoops. What does a captain do on Leap Day?
Jump ship. I'm going to get married on February 29th, so I only have to remember our anniversary once every 4 years. Why was February so popular with the other months?
Because it brought an extra day of fun to the party! Why don't we ever plan important events on February 29th?
Because it's too risky to take a leap of faith!
But so far, nothing leaps to mind. What's a great thing about leap-year jokes?
That you only hear them repeated every 4 years. If a leap year has 366 days, what do you call a year with 365 days?
A light year. Why did the man get arrested on Leap Day?
Because he was doing 29 in a 28 zone. What do you call a frog born on February 29?
A leap frog What do Lawyers do on leap day?
They jump to conclusions How do you know it's almost Leap Day?
When it is only a hop, skip and a jump away. What do athletes wear during a Leap Year?
Jumpsuits. What do kids play during a Leap Year?
Hop-scotch. What do you call a surgery during a Leap Year?
A hop-eration. Birthdays are good for your health.
Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.
RIP people born on the 29th of February. October 31st should be a leap year.
One day you're having a good time with Halloween. Then it's 3 years of being ghosted. Today is a leap day.
Guess you should jump with joy. Yo mama so old, she even lived through the first leap year. Are you gonna buy into an annual subscription of any kind?
Do it on February 29, you might get it free for the next four years based on poor code! Happy 2025 to all.
Remember we must skip 2024 â€" it's a leap year. What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?
Hip Hop How did the leap year party go?
It was jumping all night long! Why did the calendar feel unbalanced during leap years?
Because it had an extra day to juggle! Why don't lions like Leap Day?
Because they are always jumping through hoops. What does a captain do on Leap Day?
Jump ship. I'm going to get married on February 29th, so I only have to remember our anniversary once every 4 years. Why was February so popular with the other months?
Because it brought an extra day of fun to the party! Why don't we ever plan important events on February 29th?
Because it's too risky to take a leap of faith!
24 Leap Day Jokes - Make Every February 29th memorable
Trying to figure out why 2024 will be longer than 2023…
But so far, nothing leaps to mind. What's a great thing about leap-year jokes?
That you only hear them repeated every 4 years. If a leap year has 366 days, what do you call a year with 365 days?
A light year. Why did the man get arrested on Leap Day?
Because he was doing 29 in a 28 zone. What do you call a frog born on February 29?
A leap frog What do Lawyers do on leap day?
They jump to conclusions How do you know it's almost Leap Day?
When it is only a hop, skip and a jump away. What do athletes wear during a Leap Year?
Jumpsuits. What do kids play during a Leap Year?
Hop-scotch. What do you call a surgery during a Leap Year?
A hop-eration. Birthdays are good for your health.
Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.
RIP people born on the 29th of February. October 31st should be a leap year.
One day you're having a good time with Halloween. Then it's 3 years of being ghosted. Today is a leap day.
Guess you should jump with joy. Yo mama so old, she even lived through the first leap year. Are you gonna buy into an annual subscription of any kind?
Do it on February 29, you might get it free for the next four years based on poor code! Happy 2025 to all.
Remember we must skip 2024 â€" it's a leap year. What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?
Hip Hop How did the leap year party go?
It was jumping all night long! Why did the calendar feel unbalanced during leap years?
Because it had an extra day to juggle! Why don't lions like Leap Day?
Because they are always jumping through hoops. What does a captain do on Leap Day?
Jump ship. I'm going to get married on February 29th, so I only have to remember our anniversary once every 4 years. Why was February so popular with the other months?
Because it brought an extra day of fun to the party! Why don't we ever plan important events on February 29th?
Because it's too risky to take a leap of faith!
But so far, nothing leaps to mind. What's a great thing about leap-year jokes?
That you only hear them repeated every 4 years. If a leap year has 366 days, what do you call a year with 365 days?
A light year. Why did the man get arrested on Leap Day?
Because he was doing 29 in a 28 zone. What do you call a frog born on February 29?
A leap frog What do Lawyers do on leap day?
They jump to conclusions How do you know it's almost Leap Day?
When it is only a hop, skip and a jump away. What do athletes wear during a Leap Year?
Jumpsuits. What do kids play during a Leap Year?
Hop-scotch. What do you call a surgery during a Leap Year?
A hop-eration. Birthdays are good for your health.
Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.
RIP people born on the 29th of February. October 31st should be a leap year.
One day you're having a good time with Halloween. Then it's 3 years of being ghosted. Today is a leap day.
Guess you should jump with joy. Yo mama so old, she even lived through the first leap year. Are you gonna buy into an annual subscription of any kind?
Do it on February 29, you might get it free for the next four years based on poor code! Happy 2025 to all.
Remember we must skip 2024 â€" it's a leap year. What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?
Hip Hop How did the leap year party go?
It was jumping all night long! Why did the calendar feel unbalanced during leap years?
Because it had an extra day to juggle! Why don't lions like Leap Day?
Because they are always jumping through hoops. What does a captain do on Leap Day?
Jump ship. I'm going to get married on February 29th, so I only have to remember our anniversary once every 4 years. Why was February so popular with the other months?
Because it brought an extra day of fun to the party! Why don't we ever plan important events on February 29th?
Because it's too risky to take a leap of faith!
24 Leap Day Jokes - Make Every February 29th memorable
Trying to figure out why 2024 will be longer than 2023…
But so far, nothing leaps to mind. What's a great thing about leap-year jokes?
That you only hear them repeated every 4 years. If a leap year has 366 days, what do you call a year with 365 days?
A light year. Why did the man get arrested on Leap Day?
Because he was doing 29 in a 28 zone. What do you call a frog born on February 29?
A leap frog What do Lawyers do on leap day?
They jump to conclusions How do you know it's almost Leap Day?
When it is only a hop, skip and a jump away. What do athletes wear during a Leap Year?
Jumpsuits. What do kids play during a Leap Year?
Hop-scotch. What do you call a surgery during a Leap Year?
A hop-eration. Birthdays are good for your health.
Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.
RIP people born on the 29th of February. October 31st should be a leap year.
One day you're having a good time with Halloween. Then it's 3 years of being ghosted. Today is a leap day.
Guess you should jump with joy. Yo mama so old, she even lived through the first leap year. Are you gonna buy into an annual subscription of any kind?
Do it on February 29, you might get it free for the next four years based on poor code! Happy 2025 to all.
Remember we must skip 2024 â€" it's a leap year. What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?
Hip Hop How did the leap year party go?
It was jumping all night long! Why did the calendar feel unbalanced during leap years?
Because it had an extra day to juggle! Why don't lions like Leap Day?
Because they are always jumping through hoops. What does a captain do on Leap Day?
Jump ship. I'm going to get married on February 29th, so I only have to remember our anniversary once every 4 years. Why was February so popular with the other months?
Because it brought an extra day of fun to the party! Why don't we ever plan important events on February 29th?
Because it's too risky to take a leap of faith!
But so far, nothing leaps to mind. What's a great thing about leap-year jokes?
That you only hear them repeated every 4 years. If a leap year has 366 days, what do you call a year with 365 days?
A light year. Why did the man get arrested on Leap Day?
Because he was doing 29 in a 28 zone. What do you call a frog born on February 29?
A leap frog What do Lawyers do on leap day?
They jump to conclusions How do you know it's almost Leap Day?
When it is only a hop, skip and a jump away. What do athletes wear during a Leap Year?
Jumpsuits. What do kids play during a Leap Year?
Hop-scotch. What do you call a surgery during a Leap Year?
A hop-eration. Birthdays are good for your health.
Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.
RIP people born on the 29th of February. October 31st should be a leap year.
One day you're having a good time with Halloween. Then it's 3 years of being ghosted. Today is a leap day.
Guess you should jump with joy. Yo mama so old, she even lived through the first leap year. Are you gonna buy into an annual subscription of any kind?
Do it on February 29, you might get it free for the next four years based on poor code! Happy 2025 to all.
Remember we must skip 2024 â€" it's a leap year. What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?
Hip Hop How did the leap year party go?
It was jumping all night long! Why did the calendar feel unbalanced during leap years?
Because it had an extra day to juggle! Why don't lions like Leap Day?
Because they are always jumping through hoops. What does a captain do on Leap Day?
Jump ship. I'm going to get married on February 29th, so I only have to remember our anniversary once every 4 years. Why was February so popular with the other months?
Because it brought an extra day of fun to the party! Why don't we ever plan important events on February 29th?
Because it's too risky to take a leap of faith!